Life's A Bowl of Gumbo

You’d have to be as numb as a hake (not very bright in Bar Harbor, Maine) to believe that we Americans all talk the same way. Whether you’re a "sourdough" (born and raised in Alaska), a "web-footer" (a native of Seattle), a "yinzer" (someone with a very strong Pittsburgh accent) or a "vull" (a resident of Knoxville) our manner of speech is a critical indicator of who we are and where we come from.

Television and the all-pervasive influence of Hollywood notwithstanding, it appears that dialects in America, particularly in urban areas, are diverging. As linguist William Labov notes, "Linguistic diversity in American cities is increasing. It appears that the dialects of New York, Philadelphia, Detroit, Chicago, Saint Louis, Dallas and Los Angeles are now more different from each other than they were 50 or 100 years ago." But don’t forget that an "accent" is what happens when two cars collide in Baltimore.

Much of our local usage of English derives from food-related terminology. In one memorable episode of The Simpsons, Homer pleads with Marge to be allowed to travel to "exotic" parts of the world where people eat "hoagies" or "grinders" instead of "subs". Indeed, if Homer traveled to Boston he could indulge in a "spooky" (a submarine sandwich; deriving from the Italian spucadella) or he could grab a "hero" in Noo Yawk. In Atlanta you can get a "lube job" while you leave the car at home (it’s what happens when you go to a local establishment and wolf down a few chili cheese dogs). A "meat n’thray" is a restaurant offering a meat dish and three side orders in Nashville. "Sliders" are the best hamburgers in St. Louis and "soggies" are the best hotdogs in Providence. But if someone asks if you want beef in Honolulu you’d better watch out__it means they want to fight you!

Prevailing weather conditions also produce local variants of English. In Minne-apolis it snizzles (snowing drizzle) and in the arid Mojave "Desert B.O." refers to the strange smell that occurs when rain hits the sand. The Amish in Pennsylvania ask each other "Make wet?" ("Is it going to rain?") In Los Angeles, "Shake and Bake" is not a meal enhancement but an earthquake on a hot day. Another seismic-related phrase is to "go Richter", when someone is very angry, which is, like totally uncool, dude. In polluted Phoenix, "smog dogs" are the local police units responsible for checking auto emissions. In Miami, a messed-up room or place "looks like Andrew hit it" in memory of the destructive hurricane that caused a great deal of damage in South Florida.

The way we describe other people also defines our local culture. "Granola people" are hippies in Portland, Oregon; "Bennies" are tourists from North Jersey (as described by people in South Jersey); an "RM" in Salt Lake City is a "Returned Mormon Missionary" and a "coyote" in San Diego smuggles people over the border from Mexico into the USA.

So if you’re "gettin’ ill" (angry in Raleigh) or "getting RIFed" (Reduction In Force__government layoffs in Washington DC), just remember that things will turn out "diggedy dank" (really good in San Francisco). After all, life’s a bowl of gumbo, as the folks in New Orleans say, meaning that we never know what to expect from one day to the next.